What I Didn't Know About Ireland

 

       

As an Irish American, I grew up thinking that I knew certain things about Ireland.  Of course, I had always heard how beautiful it was and how friendly the people were, but I was surprised to discover that there are so many things that as Americans we don't really know about Ireland.

Here are just some of the things that surprised and delighted me during my travels to the lovely green isle.

Top o' the Mornin 

I've never heard an Irish person say this in over 20 years of traveling there.

Corned Beef and Cabbage is not the national dish

The most common or traditional meal I found all through the country is boiled back bacon (pork), potatoes, cabbage and a lovely parsley cream sauce, it's just like the country boiled dinner my grandmother made when I was growing up.  Corned beef and cabbage developed in America due to the cost of food and immigrants living in the same communities with some who did not eat pork.  

Irish Bacon is not the same as Canadian Bacon 

It a gorgeous slice of pork loin (rashers) that I adore!

St. Patrick's Day began as a religious holiday to honor their patron Saint

Until 1970 pubs were required by law to close for the day.  Irish immigrants in America began celebrating in remembrance of their homeland and it has evolved into the green madness we know today. 

The Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland are separate countries

Although they share a border with the South, Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom.

Pubs in Ireland are truly Public Houses

They are a place to meet, gather and conduct business.  You are as likely to find a hardware store or linen shop in the same building.  I even found one that had a mortuary on the other side.  Many have become more of a drinking establishment, but you'll still find many true pubs throughout the country.

To say that the Irish are heavy drinkers, is not a fair reflection of the culture

I found drinking to be more of a social activity, and many prefer tea or soft drinks over alcohol when they are out.  My favorite was black currant juice mixed with water, very refreshing.

Having said that, there is a very healthy respect for the black stuff

During my travels I would often see Guinness mini coupes driving through the country to inspect and service the tiny pubs in the towns and villages.  As a woman you are more likely to be offered a glass instead of a pint when you order a beer, just tell them you want a pint, and you'll get a smile and a wink.

We've all heard of Irish Wakes 

I was very moved to hear the story about families having American Wakes for their loved ones who were emigrating to the US - they knew they would probably never see them again.  

Christian - Pagan - Ancient Celts

As I trekked up the Hill of Tara, I was surprised to see a very modest statue of St. Patrick and all of the surrounding monuments and symbols to honor their ancient pagan history as well.

Cherish the History

That is something very unique about Ireland - they don't remove something just because it is old or seems out of date.  A lovely caretaker I met at the Kylemore Abbey gardens explained to me that anything that thrives there stays there. 

Taxi drivers are more like professional tour operators 

They will give you great information about the local area.  It will also be the most interesting conversation you will ever have.  The Irish are very well informed about news and world events and love to chat with travelers about all of it.

How lovely and social they are is not a myth 

If they ask you about yourself, it isn't simply to be polite - they really want to know.  When I lived there, I was told early on, to allow extra time when you go out so you can chat with the people you meet along the way.  

The Irish have an incredible, irrepressible, independent spirit

That is perfectly displayed on the Painted Doors of Dublin.  At the same time, they have a deep love and loyalty to their country, like singing the national anthem at the end of the night after drinking and dancing.  That is something you would never see at an American bar.

They are the warmest, kindest most generous people I have ever met, and the countryside is absolutely stunning.  

If you've been there, then you know what I'm talking about.  If you haven't, then you must see it for yourself to understand the true beauty of this very special place.

To say I was charmed by Ireland would be a tremendous understatement.  It's not only the home of my ancestors but has become the homeplace of my heart. 

Happy New Year

With a new year, fresh start and new beginnings - all things are possible. 

I don't make resolutions, but I do like to set intentions.

This year I want to broaden my scope and clear some space for something new.

I am ready to trade the rituals and traditions that have served me so well in the past for a future that is unknown and limitless.

Now, I feel the need to explore in a way that I never have before.

Not just in the world, but within myself.

Wishing you a New Year filled with love and joy!

Christmas Magic

It was just a few weeks until Christmas and I could hardly wait.

We had moved into our beautiful new house, and I had my very own bedroom.  No more sharing with my annoying younger brother.

Mom was busy decorating and getting ready for the holiday.  I’m not sure I had ever seen her so happy.  She finally met someone who treated her well and even liked us kids too. 

Buzz was a kind man, quiet and gentle with a warm smile.  Walking in with his dusty work boots, exhausted from work, he was never too tired to pick me up and give me a huge bear hug.

We were living a life I could never have imagined.  There was so much food in the house we had to put another refrigerator on the back porch.  We didn’t have to worry about moving in the middle of the night because we couldn’t pay the rent.  Life was very good.

“You are not going to start another project this close to Christmas.” I heard my mom telling Buzz.

He was always working on something.  He built a new patio with a rock garden for mom in the summer and a mini playhouse for me and my brother.

Despite her protests, he began working.  

It was unusual for him to be doing it inside, but it was winter, so I didn’t think much of it. 

Mom was beside herself with the mess.  She had worked so hard to clean and decorate the house.  He had even pushed the Christmas tree off into the corner.

I was surprised and confused when I came home from school and saw that he was actually tearing down the living room wall. 

He and mom almost never argued but this was different.  There were pieces of wood and sheet rock everywhere.  I was happy I had a room to go to where I could stay away from it all.

As the days passed, mom accepted that this was going to happen whether she liked it or not. 

Just a couple of days until Christmas now and I was more excited than ever.  This was our first Christmas in the new house.

Behind the canvas tarps, Buzz worked away, he looked like the Wizard of Oz behind the curtain.

He even enlisted my brother to help with his “secret project”.

I was a little jealous that I wasn’t included but I kept myself busy playing with my dolls and reading in my room.

Finally, it was Christmas eve.  I knew this year would be special, but I had no idea how much. 

After dinner, mom sent me and my brother to our rooms.  “We have something to do before Santa comes, so you have to stay there until we tell you to come out,” she instructed. “And no peeking,” she nodded to my brother.

Presents, it must be our presents we both thought. 

When she opened the door, she told me to close my eyes.  Gently guiding me, we walked into the front room. 

When I opened my eyes, I saw the most incredible fireplace I had ever seen.  

That is what Buzz had been working on.  Whoever had lived there before had covered up the fireplace with a wall.

It looked like something out of a fairy tale – the fire was glowing with twinkles of light reflecting on the hearth.

Under the tree were two boxes, one for me and one for my brother. 

We didn’t usually get to open any gifts before Christmas morning, so this was another unexpected surprise. 

My box was not wrapped, so it was easy to just open the top.  As I did, up popped the most beautiful little gray kitten in the world.  

Immediately I began to cry, as I carefully lifted her out of the box.

“Is she really for me?” I asked in disbelief, petting her gently. "I think I'll call her Thumbelina because she's so tiny," I said.

My brother grinned at me and began opening his package.  It was a toolbox with real tools to build things, he was thrilled.

Mom smiled and watched quietly as we laughed and played.  Buzz reached down from his rocking chair and lifted me, still holding the kitten, into his lap.

It was truly a magical Christmas.

Winter Solstice at Newgrange

As I moved carefully through the winding passage toward the inner chamber of the tomb, I was overwhelmed by the intense energy of this sacred place.

 
The air felt thick with presence, as if the stone itself were guiding me inward. When I turned to look back, there was no sign of the entrance, no hint of the outside world, only darkness and curved stone embracing me at the center.

It was difficult to imagine how light could ever find its way here. 

And yet it does, patiently and precisely, once every year at the Winter Solstice, reminding me that no matter how dark the night, the light will always return.

Gratitude and Appreciation

We've all heard it many times and in many different ways throughout our lives. Count your blessings, give thanks, feel lucky for what you have, think of people who don’t have as much.  We understand the words, but seldom do we stop to think about what they really mean.   

When I started looking at my life in a new way it was very revealing.  As much as I thought I had been a grateful person, I realized I had been taking a lot for granted.  Not just the big things, but all of the small, seemingly insignificant things that make up my life.

I started focusing on very specific things to appreciate, like my morning cup of coffee.  I wondered, what did it take for me to enjoy that simple pleasure?  

It had to be grown, picked, processed, distributed etc. by others who made it possible for me to sit at my kitchen table with little to no effort on my part.

Pouring a glass of clean water, sleeping in a comfortable bed, turning on the lights - the list goes on forever.  There is so much to appreciate and be grateful for.

But what about when things go wrong?

The big shift occurred for me when I began to see problems as opportunities.  Something that would have upset me in the past, like an issue at work or something going wrong with my vehicle, became a challenge for me to find the best in the situation.

This was when I had to be more general and not so specific.  I was happy to have a job or a car, I felt fortunate to have the resources and ability to figure it out.  

I applied this philosophy to everything I could think of.  If it was a good experience, I thought about how much I appreciated having it.  When it didn’t feel so good, I thought about how grateful I was for the lesson and what positive aspects of it I could find. 

In the beginning it was a little difficult to always find the silver lining but with practice it became easier, and I’ve learned that even when I slip back into my old habits, I can quickly recover by simply remembering all that I have to be grateful for. 

I'm not sure exactly when it occurred to me, but one day, I began to really understand what it means to be truly grateful.  Not just for the good things but for everything. 

 

How to Plan Your First Solo Travel Adventure

 It’s been over 40 years, but I remember the first few trips I took alone like they were yesterday. I was so excited and nervous. At the same time, I knew it was something I had to try.

I would read stories about all of the wonderful places in the world and fantasize about going on those trips, never really believing I would actually go. Finally, I let my desire overcome my fear and I booked a short solo trip, not far from where I lived.

Now, four decades later, I am barely home from one adventure before I am planning the next. 

Everywhere I go, women ask me how I do it, so, I thought I’d share some of my tips on how to plan your first solo travel adventure.  Just a word of caution – it can be very addictive and can change your life forever!

Planning for Your Solo Travel Adventure

The first step is to think of something you enjoy doing. Do you like visiting gardens or parks, museums, outdoor activities or sporting events?

Whatever you like to do at home you will enjoy even more when you are away. I love to hike in the mountains so that is what I decided to do for my first trip. Having a sense of purpose helped to calm my nerves.

I recommend staying close to home at first; this will ease the stress of feeling like you are too far away. My first trip was only an hour from home and I knew if I didn’t like it or if anything happened I could easily leave; it was very reassuring.

Next, decide where you want to go, how far away and for how long. I began with just a weekend – drive on Saturday morning, go hiking, stay overnight and drive home on Sunday. It seems so easy now but at the time this was a very big deal for me.

Managing Your Bookings

Whether you are driving, flying or taking a bus, you will need to make arrangements for how you will get there and where you will stay. The Internet has made this process so much easier so you can research and book everything online.

I always check multiple sites before I make any travel arrangements. I start with Expedia and Travelocity and then check the specific hotel or airline website for more detailed information and the best rates.

Many airlines offer vacation packages that include airfare, hotel and car so it is easy to book all of them together. Before I book anything I check Tripadvisor.com to see the reviews from other solo travelers. I am very careful to make sure that where I am going is safe and that I will be comfortable.

Also, I make refundable arrangements. It can cost a bit more but I want to make sure that I can cancel without penalty.

Depending on where I am going and what the costs are sometimes I purchase travel insurance. Also, I always have a contingency plan, just in case.

Looking for Tours and Excursions

Depending on what you plan to do, you can either book organized tours or go independently. Many of my early trips were to visit lovely botanic gardens in various states so I would check into my hotel and then go from there.

I very often take walks in the park or gardens here at home so it did not feel uncomfortable to do this on my own in a new city. The one thing I always do is plan my transportation before I leave the hotel – directions, bus schedule, taxi etc.

Getting the Most from Dining Out

For some women traveling alone this can be a big concern. It is one of the reasons that I always book a hotel with a restaurant onsite. If I am feeling uncomfortable for any reason or perhaps just don’t want to go out I can order room service and stay in.

Early on, when I went out, I took a book or my journal to occupy myself if I felt bored or uneasy. Now, with phones and tablets, most of us have something available all the time.

Try not to be too distracted. A lot of people will talk to you when they see you are on your own but won’t interrupt you if you seem too engrossed in your phone.

Honestly, it has become one of my greatest pleasures. I always plan at least one night when I dress up and treat myself to a nice dinner out. I’ve met wonderful people all over the world and always look forward to this part of any trip.

Embrace a Little Self-indulgence

For me, this has become one of the best things about traveling on my own. I get to do what I want, when I want and always do something special for myself. It doesn’t have to be expensive just anything that makes me happy.

It might be a nice meal, massage, cute pair of earrings or just a nice warm bath with a glass of wine at the end of a great day. No matter what it is, it helps me remember that I deserve to treat myself with love and kindness.

Wishing you safe and happy travels!

Have you ever traveled on your own? If not, would you like to? What solo travel advice would you like to offer the other women in our community? Join the conversation and share your stories below.

Published on Sixty and Me

The Stanley Hotel - A Ghost Story

 It was a lovely spring day, and my friend was coming to Colorado for a visit.  We decided to go to Estes Park for the weekend. 

We talked as we drove up the mountain, and he asked if this was where “The Shining” was filmed.  I told him I wasn't sure, but I thought it might be. 

It was a glorious day - blue sky, beautiful scenery, and the perfect way to begin our trip.

As we approached the overlook of Estes Park, with the Rocky Mountains rising in the background, it was truly a spectacular sight.

We drove toward town and noticed a striking white building up on the hill.  Neither of us knew what it was, so we decided to investigate.  

Driving closer, we marveled at the perfectly manicured grounds and then saw the sign that read - The Stanley Hotel.

We agreed that we had to see it but were sure that it would be too expensive to stay there.

As we entered the property, the massive white gates opened to a large outdoor patio.  

Inside, the lobby was beautifully decorated with big leather chairs surrounding several huge stone fireplaces.  Antique tables with fresh flowers brightened every corner, it was warm and inviting.  

We inquired about the rates and were surprised that they were offering a special price for the night, so we decided to stay.  

After checking in, the desk clerk informed us that the hotel was haunted and that they had ghost tours in the basement after dark.

We thought it was amusing and a good tourist attraction but declined.

Climbing the stairs, we noticed the air changing, it became heavy and dense.  The brightness of the lobby faded as we walked toward our room.

When we opened the door, we were immediately struck by the closeness of the space.  Not only was it very small, but there didn't seem to be any air circulating at all. 

We knew that this would not be comfortable and asked to change rooms.  They moved us to a large, beautifully appointed suite with a great view of the mountains. 

We enjoyed a luxurious meal downstairs at the restaurant and continued to marvel at the wonderful surroundings.  We planned on going into town later and do some sightseeing, but we never left the hotel. 

Throughout the evening, several people approached me, saying I looked like someone they knew.  

When I went downstairs to the restroom, I felt a chill in the air.  The entire time I was there, I felt as though I was being watched.  It made me very uneasy, and I hurried back to our table.  

My friend laughed when I told him and reminded me about the ghost tours.  I thought it was funny, and quickly put it out of my mind.  

It was getting late, so we decided to go back up to the room.  As we sat and talked, I felt a sudden draft of cold air and looked to see where it was coming from.  

I was shocked when I saw an apparition of a man step through the doorway of the bathroom and disappear.  

Before I could react, my friend asked if there was someone behind him.  

Standing over his shoulder, I could see the faint outline of a young girl.  We both were stunned, not sure what was happening. 

Slowly, we began to speak.  This felt like a child’s spirit nothing malevolent, but terrifying just the same.

Suddenly, the energy changed dramatically.  The room filled with cold air, and a bright light flashed across the wall and splashed onto the bureau mirror.  

It felt as though dozens of very angry people were trying to get into the room. 

We were both in shock at what we were seeing and feeling.  It was 2:00 a.m. and checking out in the middle of the night seemed strange, but we could not stay any longer.

It was a relief to see the friendly night clerk at the desk. 

When we told her what happened, she said that it was a regular occurrence because the hotel really was haunted.  She had seen some extraordinary things herself. 

We talked to her for some time, hoping to calm down before driving home. 

She said she was not surprised that I had a bad experience.  She told me that I looked very much like a woman from the hotel who passed away many years ago.  

We drove back down the mountain in silence.  

Years later, I still think about what we encountered in that strange and dark place.  

I have never returned to the Stanley or to Estes Park.