Christmas Magic

It was just a few weeks until Christmas and I could hardly wait.

We had moved into our beautiful new house, and I had my very own bedroom.  No more sharing with my annoying younger brother.

Mom was busy decorating and getting ready for the holiday.  I’m not sure I had ever seen her so happy.  She finally met someone who treated her well and even liked us kids too. 

Buzz was a kind man, quiet and gentle with a warm smile.  Walking in with his dusty work boots, exhausted from work, he was never too tired to pick me up and give me a huge bear hug.

We were living a life I could never have imagined.  There was so much food in the house we had to put another refrigerator on the back porch.  We didn’t have to worry about moving in the middle of the night because we couldn’t pay the rent.  Life was very good.

“You are not going to start another project this close to Christmas.” I heard my mom telling Buzz.

He was always working on something.  He built a new patio with a rock garden for mom in the summer and a mini playhouse for me and my brother.

Despite her protests, he began working.  

It was unusual for him to be doing it inside, but it was winter, so I didn’t think much of it. 

Mom was beside herself with the mess.  She had worked so hard to clean and decorate the house.  He had even pushed the Christmas tree off into the corner.

I was surprised and confused when I came home from school and saw that he was actually tearing down the living room wall. 

He and mom almost never argued but this was different.  There were pieces of wood and sheet rock everywhere.  I was happy I had a room to go to where I could stay away from it all.

As the days passed, mom accepted that this was going to happen whether she liked it or not. 

Just a couple of days until Christmas now and I was more excited than ever.  This was our first Christmas in the new house.

Behind the canvas tarps, Buzz worked away, he looked like the Wizard of Oz behind the curtain.

He even enlisted my brother to help with his “secret project”.

I was a little jealous that I wasn’t included but I kept myself busy playing with my dolls and reading in my room.

Finally, it was Christmas eve.  I knew this year would be special, but I had no idea how much. 

After dinner, mom sent me and my brother to our rooms.  “We have something to do before Santa comes, so you have to stay there until we tell you to come out,” she instructed. “And no peeking,” she nodded to my brother.

Presents, it must be our presents we both thought. 

When she opened the door, she told me to close my eyes.  Gently guiding me, we walked into the front room. 

When I opened my eyes, I saw the most incredible fireplace I had ever seen.  

That is what Buzz had been working on.  Whoever had lived there before had covered up the fireplace with a wall.

It looked like something out of a fairy tale – the fire was glowing with twinkles of light reflecting on the hearth.

Under the tree were two boxes, one for me and one for my brother. 

We didn’t usually get to open any gifts before Christmas morning, so this was another unexpected surprise. 

My box was not wrapped, so it was easy to just open the top.  As I did, up popped the most beautiful little gray kitten in the world.  

Immediately I began to cry, as I carefully lifted her out of the box.

“Is she really for me?” I asked in disbelief, petting her gently. "I think I'll call her Thumbelina because she's so tiny," I said.

My brother grinned at me and began opening his package.  It was a toolbox with real tools to build things, he was thrilled.

Mom smiled and watched quietly as we laughed and played.  Buzz reached down from his rocking chair and lifted me, still holding the kitten, into his lap.

It was truly a magical Christmas.

Winter Solstice at Newgrange

As I moved carefully through the winding passage toward the inner chamber of the tomb, I was overwhelmed by the intense energy of this sacred place.

 
The air felt thick with presence, as if the stone itself were guiding me inward. When I turned to look back, there was no sign of the entrance, no hint of the outside world, only darkness and curved stone embracing me at the center.

It was difficult to imagine how light could ever find its way here. 

And yet it does, patiently and precisely, once every year at the Winter Solstice, reminding me that no matter how dark the night, the light will always return.

Gratitude and Appreciation

We've all heard it many times and in many different ways throughout our lives. Count your blessings, give thanks, feel lucky for what you have, think of people who don’t have as much.  We understand the words, but seldom do we stop to think about what they really mean.   

When I started looking at my life in a new way it was very revealing.  As much as I thought I had been a grateful person, I realized I had been taking a lot for granted.  Not just the big things, but all of the small, seemingly insignificant things that make up my life.

I started focusing on very specific things to appreciate, like my morning cup of coffee.  I wondered, what did it take for me to enjoy that simple pleasure?  

It had to be grown, picked, processed, distributed etc. by others who made it possible for me to sit at my kitchen table with little to no effort on my part.

Pouring a glass of clean water, sleeping in a comfortable bed, turning on the lights - the list goes on forever.  There is so much to appreciate and be grateful for.

But what about when things go wrong?

The big shift occurred for me when I began to see problems as opportunities.  Something that would have upset me in the past, like an issue at work or something going wrong with my vehicle, became a challenge for me to find the best in the situation.

This was when I had to be more general and not so specific.  I was happy to have a job or a car, I felt fortunate to have the resources and ability to figure it out.  

I applied this philosophy to everything I could think of.  If it was a good experience, I thought about how much I appreciated having it.  When it didn’t feel so good, I thought about how grateful I was for the lesson and what positive aspects of it I could find. 

In the beginning it was a little difficult to always find the silver lining but with practice it became easier, and I’ve learned that even when I slip back into my old habits, I can quickly recover by simply remembering all that I have to be grateful for. 

I'm not sure exactly when it occurred to me, but one day, I began to really understand what it means to be truly grateful.  Not just for the good things but for everything. 

 

How to Plan Your First Solo Travel Adventure

 It’s been over 40 years, but I remember the first few trips I took alone like they were yesterday. I was so excited and nervous. At the same time, I knew it was something I had to try.

I would read stories about all of the wonderful places in the world and fantasize about going on those trips, never really believing I would actually go. Finally, I let my desire overcome my fear and I booked a short solo trip, not far from where I lived.

Now, four decades later, I am barely home from one adventure before I am planning the next. 

Everywhere I go, women ask me how I do it, so, I thought I’d share some of my tips on how to plan your first solo travel adventure.  Just a word of caution – it can be very addictive and can change your life forever!

Planning for Your Solo Travel Adventure

The first step is to think of something you enjoy doing. Do you like visiting gardens or parks, museums, outdoor activities or sporting events?

Whatever you like to do at home you will enjoy even more when you are away. I love to hike in the mountains so that is what I decided to do for my first trip. Having a sense of purpose helped to calm my nerves.

I recommend staying close to home at first; this will ease the stress of feeling like you are too far away. My first trip was only an hour from home and I knew if I didn’t like it or if anything happened I could easily leave; it was very reassuring.

Next, decide where you want to go, how far away and for how long. I began with just a weekend – drive on Saturday morning, go hiking, stay overnight and drive home on Sunday. It seems so easy now but at the time this was a very big deal for me.

Managing Your Bookings

Whether you are driving, flying or taking a bus, you will need to make arrangements for how you will get there and where you will stay. The Internet has made this process so much easier so you can research and book everything online.

I always check multiple sites before I make any travel arrangements. I start with Expedia and Travelocity and then check the specific hotel or airline website for more detailed information and the best rates.

Many airlines offer vacation packages that include airfare, hotel and car so it is easy to book all of them together. Before I book anything I check Tripadvisor.com to see the reviews from other solo travelers. I am very careful to make sure that where I am going is safe and that I will be comfortable.

Also, I make refundable arrangements. It can cost a bit more but I want to make sure that I can cancel without penalty.

Depending on where I am going and what the costs are sometimes I purchase travel insurance. Also, I always have a contingency plan, just in case.

Looking for Tours and Excursions

Depending on what you plan to do, you can either book organized tours or go independently. Many of my early trips were to visit lovely botanic gardens in various states so I would check into my hotel and then go from there.

I very often take walks in the park or gardens here at home so it did not feel uncomfortable to do this on my own in a new city. The one thing I always do is plan my transportation before I leave the hotel – directions, bus schedule, taxi etc.

Getting the Most from Dining Out

For some women traveling alone this can be a big concern. It is one of the reasons that I always book a hotel with a restaurant onsite. If I am feeling uncomfortable for any reason or perhaps just don’t want to go out I can order room service and stay in.

Early on, when I went out, I took a book or my journal to occupy myself if I felt bored or uneasy. Now, with phones and tablets, most of us have something available all the time.

Try not to be too distracted. A lot of people will talk to you when they see you are on your own but won’t interrupt you if you seem too engrossed in your phone.

Honestly, it has become one of my greatest pleasures. I always plan at least one night when I dress up and treat myself to a nice dinner out. I’ve met wonderful people all over the world and always look forward to this part of any trip.

Embrace a Little Self-indulgence

For me, this has become one of the best things about traveling on my own. I get to do what I want, when I want and always do something special for myself. It doesn’t have to be expensive just anything that makes me happy.

It might be a nice meal, massage, cute pair of earrings or just a nice warm bath with a glass of wine at the end of a great day. No matter what it is, it helps me remember that I deserve to treat myself with love and kindness.

Wishing you safe and happy travels!

Have you ever traveled on your own? If not, would you like to? What solo travel advice would you like to offer the other women in our community? Join the conversation and share your stories below.

Published on Sixty and Me

The Stanley Hotel - A Ghost Story

 It was a lovely spring day, and my friend was coming to Colorado for a visit.  We decided to go to Estes Park for the weekend. 

We talked as we drove up the mountain, and he asked if this was where “The Shining” was filmed.  I told him I wasn't sure, but I thought it might be. 

It was a glorious day - blue sky, beautiful scenery, and the perfect way to begin our trip.

As we approached the overlook of Estes Park, with the Rocky Mountains rising in the background, it was truly a spectacular sight.

We drove toward town and noticed a striking white building up on the hill.  Neither of us knew what it was, so we decided to investigate.  

Driving closer, we marveled at the perfectly manicured grounds and then saw the sign that read - The Stanley Hotel.

We agreed that we had to see it but were sure that it would be too expensive to stay there.

As we entered the property, the massive white gates opened to a large outdoor patio.  

Inside, the lobby was beautifully decorated with big leather chairs surrounding several huge stone fireplaces.  Antique tables with fresh flowers brightened every corner, it was warm and inviting.  

We inquired about the rates and were surprised that they were offering a special price for the night, so we decided to stay.  

After checking in, the desk clerk informed us that the hotel was haunted and that they had ghost tours in the basement after dark.

We thought it was amusing and a good tourist attraction but declined.

Climbing the stairs, we noticed the air changing, it became heavy and dense.  The brightness of the lobby faded as we walked toward our room.

When we opened the door, we were immediately struck by the closeness of the space.  Not only was it very small, but there didn't seem to be any air circulating at all. 

We knew that this would not be comfortable and asked to change rooms.  They moved us to a large, beautifully appointed suite with a great view of the mountains. 

We enjoyed a luxurious meal downstairs at the restaurant and continued to marvel at the wonderful surroundings.  We planned on going into town later and do some sightseeing, but we never left the hotel. 

Throughout the evening, several people approached me, saying I looked like someone they knew.  

When I went downstairs to the restroom, I felt a chill in the air.  The entire time I was there, I felt as though I was being watched.  It made me very uneasy, and I hurried back to our table.  

My friend laughed when I told him and reminded me about the ghost tours.  I thought it was funny, and quickly put it out of my mind.  

It was getting late, so we decided to go back up to the room.  As we sat and talked, I felt a sudden draft of cold air and looked to see where it was coming from.  

I was shocked when I saw an apparition of a man step through the doorway of the bathroom and disappear.  

Before I could react, my friend asked if there was someone behind him.  

Standing over his shoulder, I could see the faint outline of a young girl.  We both were stunned, not sure what was happening. 

Slowly, we began to speak.  This felt like a child’s spirit nothing malevolent, but terrifying just the same.

Suddenly, the energy changed dramatically.  The room filled with cold air, and a bright light flashed across the wall and splashed onto the bureau mirror.  

It felt as though dozens of very angry people were trying to get into the room. 

We were both in shock at what we were seeing and feeling.  It was 2:00 a.m. and checking out in the middle of the night seemed strange, but we could not stay any longer.

It was a relief to see the friendly night clerk at the desk. 

When we told her what happened, she said that it was a regular occurrence because the hotel really was haunted.  She had seen some extraordinary things herself. 

We talked to her for some time, hoping to calm down before driving home. 

She said she was not surprised that I had a bad experience.  She told me that I looked very much like a woman from the hotel who passed away many years ago.  

We drove back down the mountain in silence.  

Years later, I still think about what we encountered in that strange and dark place.  

I have never returned to the Stanley or to Estes Park.

Suitcase Closet Clearing - How To Organize Your Closet

No matter how often I clean out my closet, I always seem to accumulate more clothes than I ever need.  Some old, some new and most that I know I will never wear again.

I have tried so many different techniques – trash or treasure, what I haven’t worn in 6 months and even turning the hangers in the opposite direction, all with no luck. 

There have been several times when I have moved out of state and even out of the country for up to a year at a time.  During these trips I stay in hotels, B&Bs, holiday homes etc., all with very little to no storage.  What I discovered is that, even for my longest trips, I didn’t need much more than what my largest suitcase would hold.

When I pack to go away, I usually take the same basic items and only what is absolutely necessary.  I do like to be comfortable and flexible for the conditions so I always take that into account. 

If I think about clearing out my closet in the same way as I think about packing for a trip, it should help with some of those iffy items that I always end up keeping instead of getting rid of.

Part of this will require severing the emotional attachment I have to so many items.  I love the pattern or how I looked or what I was doing when I last wore it, are my typical excuses for keeping something that no longer suits me.  

I used to try to pack away seasonal items as the weather changed, but I live in Colorado and we can have 90-degree temperatures one day and snow the next, so it’s not practical.  I need a year-round wardrobe that I can keep ready anytime for home or away.

Aside from actual clothing items, I have amassed a tremendous collection of shoes and undergarments that rarely if ever get used.  Packing is a great way to minimize those things as well.  I wouldn’t think of taking 15 camisoles when I need one or two.

I always begin my packing process by planning my itinerary – where will I be going, what are the weather conditions and what activities will I be doing.  For me, that usually involves a variety of situations – wet, dry, hot, cold, work, dinners, dances, dates, casual loungewear and outdoor activities. 

Next, I pull out the main items that I think I will want to wear for each of the scenarios.  Then I begin grouping by color and separate the tops from the bottoms, making sure all items in a color group match each other.  I usually stick to solid colors for bottoms (black, blue, brown) and add 3 - 4 print tops that go with each color bottom.

Then I add the shoes, sweaters, scarves, jackets and accessories for each group of outfits.  Looking at this all laid out really helps me to see what I have and how they go together. 

The last step is to pack it in my suitcase.  Depending on how far you want to take this, you might decide to use several suitcases or containers for what you are keeping.  I'm now using packing cubes as additional easy storage for those items I don't use very often but want to keep.

So, there it is, my new suitcase closet organizing system.  I’m getting started on it right away and see just how low I can go and free up my time and space from all of this physical and emotional clutter. 

Is decluttering and organizing a pleasure or a pain for you?  What methods have you used that work well for you?  I would love to hear your comments and whatever tips and tricks you may have to share with others.

Published on Sixty and Me

Travel Safety Tips for Women

Traveling the world on my own gives me such a sense of joy and freedom. It is a fantastic way to meet wonderful people, while having new experiences. At the same time, I have learned that it is very important to know how to be safe so I can continue on my wonderful adventures. 
One thing that I found, while staying at international hotels, is that, very often, cell service is unreliable. 

Here are a few travel safety tips that I have learned along the way.

Stay Aware of Your Surroundings 

No matter where you are (airport, train station, restaurant, hotel etc.) it is always important to notice what is going on around you. If you are in a busy public place, you should know where the exits are and who is nearby that can assist you in the event of an emergency.

If you are traveling in a foreign country, make sure to learn some key phrases in the local language and what the emergency call number is.

Occasionally, the room phone will be blocked for outside calls, unless you have specifically made arrangements when you arrive. Once, I needed to use the phone in the middle of the night and I have never forgotten this experience.

You feel very vulnerable when you need assistance and can’t call anyone.

Protect Your Personal Information

People are very kind and helpful when they realize you are a woman traveling on your own. At the same time, you must be careful about giving out too much personal information.

I do not give my full – or even real name – to anyone, except the airline, hotel or car rental company. I like to be prepared with an alternative name and email address. This way, I’m not caught off guard when someone asks to stay in touch.

I keep my luggage tag reversed and only put my last name and email address on it. This way, it cannot be seen by anyone standing in the queue next to me. I also keep my personal documents in a closed location, out of public view.

At the hotel, after I have checked in, I memorize my room number and discard the sleeve. I like knowing that, if I lose my key, no one will know what room I am in.

Most hotels are good about not announcing your room number, while you are checking in. Unfortunately, they sometimes declare it openly when you go down for breakfast or to the pool. Politely remind them that you prefer to keep your room number private.

Personal Safety

While in your room, always use the do not disturb sign and keep all internal locks secured. I have been walked in on by housekeeping and even other guests, who were accidently given a key to my room.

I also carry a small, lightweight lock, for those doors that don’t have a good internal lock or, in some cases, none at all.

I prefer to stay at a hotel with a restaurant. This way, I can have my meals without having to leave the premises. Sometimes, especially if I’ve gotten in late and there’s bad weather, or it’s a dodgy neighborhood, I can just have my dinner and wait to go out the next day.

Do not go anywhere with strangers. The hotel should be able to arrange safe transportation for you when you go out and provide information on what is available for your return.

There might not be shuttle or taxi available when you come back, so, it’s best to plan your return transportation before you leave. I always take a card from the hotel so I have the address handy.

Do not post your plans or location on social media until after you have returned from your trip. Trust your instincts and use common sense anytime you are out and about. 

Guard Your Personal Belongings

I like to travel light. I only take carry-on baggage, one rolling backpack and one zippered tote. I can easily manage these bags without assistance and always know where everything is. The only purse or handbag I use is something small with a shoulder strap that goes under my jacket or sweater.

Always use the room safe or ask the front desk to store valuables while you are out. I keep a photocopy of my passport in a separate location and email a copy to myself so I can access it anytime.

Be Flexible

Travel is a wonderful, albeit unpredictable, adventure. You need to be able to adapt and adjust to whatever happens. Some of my best experiences have come from circumstances that initially seemed like a problem.

Wishing you all safe and happy travels!

Do you feel safe when you travel alone? What other travel safety tips can you offer to other women in our community?

Published on - Sixty and Me